Fruity Punishment (R)
One day three salesmen went to a farmer. They asked him if he wanted to buy some of their products. He said, "All right. Wait here until I come back with the money...-but don't touch my daughter while I'm gone!"
When he came back, he found them all on top of his daughter. He pointed his shotgun at them and said ,"Go out to my garden, pick 10 things, and come back in here."
The first salesman came in there with 10 cherries. The farmer goes, "Ok, shove them up your butt and you can go." So, not wanting to be shot, the salesman shoved the cherries up his butt and he was free to go
The second salesman came in with 10 oranges. Again, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt. After he had done that, the salesman started laughing. The farmer asked, "what's so funny?"
The salesman replies, "The other guy's out there picking watermelons."
Buy my book!
Mundane Journeys through an Amazing World
begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.
My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.
As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.
If you have the cost of a latte and a Kindle, you can buy a copy at Amazon by clicking here.
Or buy it in print! Mundane Journeys Trade Paperback
Be sure to check out my blog at
-- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.
Today's blog: A bit about Starbucks-ese
Follow @bissell and @jokeindex on Twitter