* Cats rub your leg when they want affection, not when they're horny.
* Cats use a litter box. Dogs use your leg.
* In 1996, over 10,000 US deaths were attributed to a dog owner's choking on saliva during morning wake-up licks.
* Cats always land on their feet. Dogs won't even let you throw them.
* Cats let you kick them when you're stressed out.
* Cats will wait until you've read your morning paper before tearing it to shreds.
* Cats look cute sleeping on the TV. Dogs crash right in front of the screen.
* No one has ever had to "Beware of the Cat."
* Cats bury their crap. Dogs dig up others'.
* Cats have better things to do than stick their nose in your crotch.
* Cats lay on the car in the heat. Dogs in heat lay the car.
* Why do you think they call it "Dog Breath?"
* Garfield. Odie. Enough said.
America is Drinking From Home!
The problem is that most of y'all are amateur drinkers and don't have what it takes to make a cocktail at home. But I've got you covered-- here's my overview to the basics you need in your home bar setup.
Here are the Bar Necessities.
Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at
michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.