And it came to pass that an openly Jewish man was elected to be President of the United States of America.
So he calls his mother in Queens and invites her to come down to Washington DC to share the Passover Holliday.
She says, 'I'd like to, but it's so much trouble... I mean, I have to get a cab to the airport, and I hate waiting on Queens Blvd...'
He replies, 'Mom! I'm the President! You won't need a cab; I'll send a limo for you!'
To which his mother replies, 'I know, but then I'll have to get my ticket at the airport, and try to get a seat on the plane, and I hate to sit in the middle... it's just too much trouble.'
He replies, 'Mom! I'm the President of the United States! I'll send Air Force One or another of my private jets for you.
To which she replies, 'Oh, well, but then when we land, I'll have to carry my luggage through the airport, and try to get a cab... it's really too much trouble.'
He replies, 'Mom!! I'm the President! I'll send a helicopter for you! You won't have to lift a finger'
She answers, 'Yes, that's nice... but, you know, I still need a hotel room, and the rooms are so expensive, and I really don't like the rooms...'
He answers, 'Mom! I'm the President! You'll stay at the White House!'
She responds, 'Well... all right... I guess I'll come.'
The next day, she's on the phone with her friend Betty.
Betty: 'Hello, Sylvia . . . so what's new?'
Sylvia: 'I'm visiting my son for Passover!'
Betty: 'The doctor?'
Sylvia: 'No . . . the other one.'
Here's what I did stuck at home...
I got bored just puttering in my shop, so I thought I'd take that old lattice in the back yard and nail it to the wall. Actually turned out pretty cool
Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at
michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.