This girl is feeling a bit down in the dumps and decides to treat herself to a meal at the Ritz. She manages to get a table that very night and enjoys a delicious meal on her own, nothing too extravagant but nice all the same. The head waiter brings the bill and she's horrified to see the total: 150 quid! She didn't expect this at all and asks the waiter "Would you mind holding my breasts while I write the cheque please?"
The head waiter is taken aback. In all his years in the job he's never been asked that before, but always eager to please the customer, (And a free 'feel-up' into the bargain) he obliges. She gets up to leave and the waiter is still perplexed.
His curiosity gets the better of him and he catches up with her at the door, "I'm sorry to bother you Miss but I'd like to know why you asked me to do that just now."
"Oh it's quite simple really" she replies "I love to have my breasts held when I'm being screwed!!!"
I take old Starbucks Drink Cups and turn them into Lamps
The warm panels are made from melting down old Starbucks drink cups, but it looks and feels like mica or some organic material. The wood in the lampshade and base is pulled from our 100 year old house in Astoria Oregon during a remodel, and it all comes together for a beautiful, classic look.
Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at
michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.