This quiz is dedicated to all of those people who find themselves constantly roaming the net. Do you leave yourself logged in twenty-four hours a day, even when you're not home? Is your wpm typing speed higher than your IQ? Are you having trouble seeing things at distances greater than 2 feet? Yes, YOU. You know who you are.
Unless otherwise stated, point values are as follows: 2 for (a), 4 for (b), 6 for (c), and 10 for (d).
How many valid net addresses do you have? Multiple machines at the same site do not count.
How many hours did it take for you to create your .sig? a) Huh? b) More than one c) More than five d) I'm still looking for a really funky quote
On an average working day, how many email messages do you receive? a) Nobody sends me any mail... sniff b) Three, but they're all from Lester in the next cubicle over, because he has nothing better to do c) I can't count that high, I failed calculus d) Don't ask me now, I'm too busy. Send me e-mail.
All right, fess up. Have you ever read alt.sex.bondage just to see what the heck those perverts were talking about? a) Yes, and I'm so ashamed b) Yes, and I'm so embarrassed c) Yes, and would you please explain a few things to me... d) No, never. (10 points. You're lying.)
Have you ever met one of your past SO's (significant others) via a computer network? a) No b) Yes, through a newsgroup we both posted on c) Yes, by chatting randomly over the Internet (shame!) d) Yes, by chatting over RELAY
Once you've logged onto your system, what do you spend most of your time doing? a) Putting books on reserve in the library computer system. b) Reading _Alice in Wonderland_ in the online bookshelf c) Reading the monthly postings on rec.humor.funny d) Writing up stupid quizzes because you've done everything else
If someone were to telephone your home at any given moment of the day, what would be the percent chance that your phone would be busy? a) Zero... I've got call waiting b) 25%.... I only dial in from work (Uh, hi, boss) c) 75%.... Duh, so that's why nobody ever calls me d) Zero... My modem has a separate phone line
Which Usenet newsgroups do you spend the most time reading? a) The comp. groups... because they're so informative b) The soc. groups.... because they're so multicultural c) The rec. groups.... because they're so diverting d) The alt. groups.... because I don't know what half those words mean
What's your worst complaint about having an Internet account? a) I have to pay $5/month for it b) The damn sysadmins won't give me enough quota to hold all my .gif's c) All those programmers keep tying up the modem lines d) I have to stay in school to keep it
Check your watch now. What time is it? a) 10 am... coffee break b) 3 pm.... General Hospital's on c) 12 am... one last login before I hit the sack d) 4 am.... Oh my God, I've got a test tomorrow
ALL RIGHT, GUYS. SCORING TIME.
0-25 points: You're not a nerd. Go read a manual or two and come back next year.
25-50 points: You're an up-and-coming Internet nerd. Why don't you telnet over to 18.104.22.168 and play around with the Quartz BBS for a while.
50-75 points: You're a full-fledged Internet nerd. Join the club.
75-100 points: You're an Internet addict. Try going to the library this week, it'll do you some good.
100+ points: You're an Internet obsessive-compulsive. Unplug your computer, go out in the woods for a few days, and relax. Lay back and listen to the birds singing. Clear your mind. And don't forget to unsubscribe yourself from all those lists before you leave.
I take old Starbucks Drink Cups and turn them into Lamps
The warm panels are made from melting down old Starbucks drink cups, but it looks and feels like mica or some organic material. The wood in the lampshade and base is pulled from our 100 year old house in Astoria Oregon during a remodel, and it all comes together for a beautiful, classic look.
Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at
michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.