6. You live surrounded by nuts
5. You have a head with no brains
4. You have one eye that can't see
3. Your best friend is a pussy
2. An asshole lives behind you
1. They make you do pushups until you throw-up

Here's what I did stuck at home...

I got bored just puttering in my shop, so I thought I'd take that old lattice in the back yard and nail it to the wall. Actually turned out pretty cool

Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make the world... nutty.

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6 reasons for NOT being a penis (R)

Here's what I did stuck at home...