Deer hunting season is coming up... Here are the secret diary entries from last years deer hunt.
1:00 am - Alarm clock rings. 2:00 am - Hunting partner arrives - drags you out of bed. 3:00 am - Throw everything except the kitchen sink in the pickup. 3:05 am - Leave for the deep woods. 3:15 am - Drive back home and pick up gun. 3:30 am - Drive like crazy to get to the woods before daylight. 4:00 am - Set up camp - forgot the tent. 4:30 am - Head into the woods. 6:05 am - See eight deer. 6:06 am - Take aim and squeeze trigger. 6:07 am - ''Click''. 6:08 am - Load gun while watching deer go over the hill. 8:00 am - Head back to camp. 9:00 am - Still looking for camp. 10:00 am - Realize you don't know where camp is. Noon - Fire gun for help - eat wild berries. 12:15 pm - Ran out of bullets - eight deer come back. 12:20 pm - Strange feeling in stomach. 12:30 pm - Realize you ate poison berries. 12:45 pm - Rescued. 12:55 pm - Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped. 3:00 pm - Arrived back in camp. 3:30 pm - leave camp to kill deer. 4:00 pm - Return to camp for bullets. 4:01 pm - Load gun - leave camp again. 5:00 pm - Empty gun on squirrel that's bugging you. 6:00 pm - Arrive at camp - see deer grazing in camp. 6:01 pm - Load gun. 6:02 pm - Fire gun. 6:03 pm - One dead pickup truck. 6:05 pm - Hunting partner returns to camp dragging deer. 6:06 pm - Repress strong desire to shoot partner. 6:07 pm - Fall into fire. 6:10 pm - Change clothes - throw burned ones into fire. 6:15 pm - Take pickup - leave partner and his deer in the woods. 6:25 pm - Pickup boils over - hole shot in block. 6:26 pm - Start walking. 6:30 pm - Stumble and fall - drop gun in the mud. 6:35 pm - Meet bear. 6:36 pm - Take aim. 6:37 pm - Fire gun - blow up barrel plugged with mud. 6:38 pm - Make mess in pants. 6:39 pm - Climb tree. 9:00 pm - Bear departs - wrap %&*$#@ gun around tree. Midnight - Home at last. Next day - Watch football games on TV, slowly tearing hunting license into little pieces - place in envelope and mail to Game Warden with very clear instructions on where to place it.
I take old Starbucks Drink Cups and turn them into Lamps
The warm panels are made from melting down old Starbucks drink cups, but it looks and feels like mica or some organic material. The wood in the lampshade and base is pulled from our 100 year old house in Astoria Oregon during a remodel, and it all comes together for a beautiful, classic look.
Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at
michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.