Jokeindex home

Charismatic Autonomous Terminator (CAT) (G)


More Stuff!
Jokeindex Home
G rated jokes
Cat
The Mark I Charismatic Autonomous Terminator (CAT) system is a family of intelligent, stealthy, terminal-homing mouse-seeking missiles featuring multi-sensor targeting with dual night-vision devices, and neural-net architecture.

The CAT's self-righting inertial platform allows launch from any attitude. Integrated multi-aspect attack profile with indefinite- loiter mode insure a wide lethality envelope. Upon target engagement, the CAT deploys four clusters of retractable submunitions in addition to the primary warhead, providing an enhanced radius of destruction.

The CAT uses regular or exotic solid or liquid fuel and is equipped with a low-signature exhaust-obscuration system. Firmware and connectors compatible with any unit of the Mark I series guarantee unlimited expansion capability, making the CAT system a cost-effective countermeasure to the projected spectrum of rodent-threat scenarios well into the next century.

The CAT is now available* from Acme Anti-Roadrunner Systems Division of McDonald Dynamics. See us at the Paris Air Show, Tom Clancy's next movie, or contact Frank Reid at XXXXXXXX (day) or XXXXXXXX (evenings; be patient) for immediate free delivery.

* Cannot be shipped to Iraq.




This Lamp is Made from Starbucks Cups and scrap wood!

I melt down plastic cups from Starbucks to make the soft glowing panels in this Craftsman style table lamp. I also mill all the wood from old planks I pulled out of my 100 year old house when I remodeled it. And the lamps look awesome.

You really should buy one if only for the story!

Learn more!


Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make the world... nutty.

Today's blog: Working Remotely and Social Distancing Challenges
Follow @bissell and @jokeindex on Twitter