Biker in Hell (PG)
GO TO HELL
Seems there was this nasty biker riding his hawg down the icy highway one cold day in Colorado, when he spotted a cat lying in the middle of the road. The biker thought to himself, 'I'll cut that cat in two,' and he bears down on it hard. As he got closer, he suddenly realized that it's not a cat, it's a large piece of metal lying in the road. Too late! His front wheel plowed into it and he's sent flying over the handlebars onto the road at 80 MPH.
Well, when he arrived in Hell, who should welcome the new arrivals but the Devil himself. As the Devil shook the (ex)biker's hand, he asked mockingly, 'So, how do you like it here?'
The bad-ass biker replied, 'Man, this is one COOL place!'
The old Devil was just a little miffed at this upstart, so he decided to crank up the thermostat a notch.
The next day, the Devil sought out the biker and asked, 'So, how do you like it now?'
Still the bad-ass biker responded by saying, 'This is great! Reminds me of those drug runs to Sonora during the hot afternoons in August.'
Naturally, the Devil is only more angered, and cranked the heat up as far as it can go. The next day, Hell is as hot as it gets. The Devil again asks the biker how he liked it.
Undaunted, the biker proclaimed, 'It's almost as hot as the time I beat and robbed those vacationers out in Death Valley. I love it!'
Now the Devil is just plain upset, so he turned the thermostat all the way down. The next morning, he found the biker again and asked, 'OK smart-arse, how do you like it NOW?'
With icicles hanging from every part of his body, the biker inquired, 'W-w-w-what h-h-hhappened, d-d-d-did the Broncos f-f-finally w-w-win the Super Bowl?'
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Mundane Journeys through an Amazing World
begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.
My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.
As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.
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